mavlast

So, I began my 7 weekend stint with Rise Academy, a local KIPP school, on Saturday– Saturday’s are basically activity classes– I do chess club.

So, needless to say, I’m not working in the real grind of the KIPP network, but I do get to see how it operates.

Honestly, it was inspiring. Kids are SILENT in the halls and teachers are extremely demanding and uniform in what they expect– I never realized how powerful that can be until I witnessed it. The most memorable moment was when I was explaining directions and ended with a “Is that clear?”. The class responded in unison “Crystal”. Ah, it was so unexpected and beautiful at the same time.

The greatest part? It gives me the momentum and inspiration to carry out such discipline in my own classroom. Like, I’ve been a stickler about them entering without talking, lining up w/o talking, walking in the halls w/o talking, etc. I feel supported even if it’s half way across the city…. Wierd, but kinda cool

My classroom has a great dichotomy. Since I’ve looped with the same kids, a lot of the issues from last year have come back. Here it is in a nutshell.

The kids respect my intelligence, but they don’t respect my authority.

What’s the result of that?

Well, as I found out today, in my first year of teaching I had the highest scores in the SLT (Newark is broken into 4 such geographic regions), but at the same time, I feel like I’m not in total control of my classroom.

Now, don’t get me wrong– it’s not chaos. But with a handful or so of kids, they just go OFF. Like, they’ll get a lunch detention or a small reprimand, and then they become uncontrollable. And the thing is, I don’t yell– so with some of them, I’m just at a loss of what to do. I can give as many detentions as I want, but their mouths don’t stop.

Most days it’s fine, and when you’re doing something interesting, it’s fine. But the thing is, you can’t do something fun ALL the time– even if you plan something ridiculous for the day, at some point during the day, you just have to do work.

It’s just really strange– the issues from last year have come back a bit, and this is the downside of looping, especially in your first year– you don’t really get a fresh start to correct the issues from first year.

I’m not sure what to think– in terms of learning, I have a group with great potential, but I also feel like they don’t respect me as a person. They respect my intelligence, as evidenced whenever we get on random tangents about history or science topics, and they’re completely interested.

My only consolation is realizing that they’re a lot worse with all the other teachers.

Nothing much to report– except that I discovered my school’s copy code! I’ve never felt so lucky before. It’s like the golden prize at the school to know the copy code– my life is now good!

So 2nd year is about a million times easier than the first. Plus, I have the same kids, so I already have a good relationship established with them. This post is nothing more than a funning anecdote in class.

So, I was showing my kids the right way to open a binder, since many of them often use the side ring to do so. I wanted to tell them that when kids do that it is my pet peeve. But first I had to explain what pet peeve meant. So, I start by explain that a pet peeve is a thing that annoys you, often a small thing like when people crack their knuckles or bit their nails. My student, Tim, who is the nicest (albeit lazy) kid, without missing a beat says, “Mr. P, you’re my pet peeve”.

How do you not crack up at that?

So, we got out state exam results back. Relatively speaking, when compared to Newark, and especially when compared to our SLT (that’s the geographic region within the city), I did pretty well. My students might even have been #1 within the SLT, but I’m still waiting on the breakdown.

With that said, teachers head back into their classrooms tomorrow, and students come back next Monday. After a long but pretty busy summer, I’m ready to get round 2 on the road. I get the same kids, but a new curriculum (8th grade). As I’m applying to grad school, I know this is almost certainly my last year in the school. I’ll keep this short and sweet– here are the resolutions of a 2nd year teacher.

1) No excuses– I will be prepared every single day– nothing is a valid excuse not to be. I will not at any moment give in to the lethargy around me. Despite what I see around me, I will be teaching every moment I am supposed to.

2) I will complete all of my work at school, knowing full well that I will likely be at school till 7 or so every day. On Fridays, despite every bone in my body wanting to dart home, I will prepare for the next week. When I teach Saturdays, I will spend time after teaching completing my work, as well.

3) When I go home on weekdays and on weekend days I am not teaching (mostly Sundays), I will not think about school. My time will not be filled by thoughts of my students.

4) I will do RIDICULOUS things in my classroom. I did this sometimes last year, but it has to be more this year. This is my final year teaching– I’m pulling out all the stops.

5) I will remember that teaching the curriculum is just a part of my job. It is just as important to create a group of citizens who demonstrate good character and know the value of hard work.

6) I will deeply invest my kids, realizing full well that an invested student takes half the time to learn something as an uninvested student.

7) I will go out of my way to show my kids that I care about them even if I look different and am different from them in almost every way.

8) I will be completely and utterly exhausted by the end of the year. This is the last time I am doing this– I don’t need to save my energy for anything.

9) I will not waste time– every moment will either be dedicated fully to my teaching if I’m at school, or to myself if I am not at school. No time will be wasted for any reason.

10) I will get as many of my students as possible into either the magnet schools, charter schools, or honors programs within the regular public schools. That is how I will change the lives of my students.

So I’m in the middle of summer far away from teaching (although I’m doing occasional planning). I’m also taking a class and doing a ridiculous amount of grad school work and essays.

I did a couple things today that are actually rooted in my past. I first looked at some old pictures from a study abroad I did in college– it was probably one of the best times of my life, and it naturally made me a bit nostalgic. The funny thing is I used to constantly reflect on how much life has changed. I haven’t done that over the last year much, but this time, I can never remember life feeling like it has changed more. Times that were ideal now barely feel real. We all have these pleasant memories of our past, but when you’re “working in the trenches” (as a recent book about tfa corps members is titled), you develop a different perception of reality. Life may not be as fun on a day in and day out basis, but it’s real now. You’re fighting real issues every day, and the perceptions of living just to “have fun” or “expand your horizons” feel like a distant memory.

In the evening, I did something else kind of random– I decided to see how fast I could run a mile. I ran back in high school, from like 7th grade until 9th. At the age of 14, I ran the mile in 5:12. Of course, I was running 45 miles a week or so back then. Now, I’m running about 10, in addition to swimming or biking a fair amount on days that I don’t run. But I just thought it would be fun.

So I run it– I clearly do not have the leg turnover that I used to. I feel like my endurance is still good but I just don’t have the speed with my legs. But I realize something in the process. I’m a lot tougher than I was 8 years ago. Back then, as soon as I started a race, one question entered my mind. “When will it be over?”. That wasn’t the issue now– I wasn’t nearly as in shape, and I have a pretty solid cramp over the last half of it. But I’m not just hoping to make it to the finish line like I used to be. I’m running it with a constant determination, my legs constantly pushing, although their movement is not as fast as I remember.

In the end, 8 years away have made me lose 50 seconds. I’m actually quite happy that I can still crank out a near 6 minute mile. But as weird as it sounds, I’m certain my mental toughness is due to the last year of teaching. When you deal with a year-long marathon, one mile is nothing.

It was a rather random day. But perhaps it’s the first time I’ve REALLY stepped back since I began teaching. It’s difficult while you’re in the thick of it, but once you really get a chance to reflect it’s unbelievable how much this experience changes you.

So, it’s about 1:15am and I’m eating a bag of sour patch kids, and already resolving to go on a nice long bike ride in the morning to burn it off… But, I’ll share something with you that caught me eye…

We are forced to sign up for the Newark teacher’s union and therefore get periodic newsletters. The last one was a dandy. At first I thought I discovered the biases because of my disproportionate study of datasets in college and just my tendencies to compare statistics. But then I realized that these are such glaring distortions that anyone who even finished high school can see it.

Point 1) This is the only point that is somewhat fair. They indicate that charter school’s have a lower % of special needs students among their population. The reason this is fair is because they compare the charter schools to public schools within the same district as those charter schools.

Point 2) Here’s the one that clearly pushes an agenda. They compare Charter schools to the state average in test scores, indicating that charters have lower percentages of kids passing almost across the board. But there’s one MAJOR problem. The majority of charter schools are in districts like Newark and Camden. The majority of public schools are not. So, basically, charter schools are being compared to the “average district” (i know that’s not quite the correct terminology, but you get the point), which is far more affluent than a district like Newark. Why do they make this comparison? My only guess is that if they made a fair comparison– that is, of Newark charter schools to Newark Public Schools, it would only strengthen the case of charter schools, and of the union can not do anything that is actually good for education, so that would be wrong.

Point 3) Charter schools spend more money in administrative costs than the state average– again, you are comparing charter schools in primarily low income districts to the average school district in new jersey, which is above Newark’s income level. With that said, I can’t even imagine how bad the picture would be if you compared Newark charter schools to Newark public schools in this criteria– the Newark Public Schools has soooo much administrative costs, it is ridiculous.

The greatest line of the whole thing is “STATISTICS DON’T LIE”. That’s true, but the Newark Teacher’s Union surely does.

So I think my kids are pretty much finished– even though I got one last thing to teach, they really aren’t doing anything in their literacy class and their behavior is nuts.

I’m definitely putting my foot down with detentions, however, and most get the idea that if you don’t want to work during school, you’ll be there afterwards.

With that said, something fun happened today. We had about 15-20 minutes free at the of class, and every once in a while I’ll just ask them RANDOM questions, mostly pertaining to history topics… such as “who said ‘one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind’ “… Anyway, they love this stuff, but today was probably the first time I made a full fledged competition out of it for like 20 minutes. It really was fun, and it’s at that moment that I realized that despite all the immaturity issues of my kids, they are interested in learning and they value knowledge, which is a cool thing to have inherited with my group.

I think I trace a lot of it back to 2 years back with their two prior TFA teachers they had back then. So this point is nothing overly profound, but it’s just kinda a cool observation about how kids are still kids, and I’m kinda lucky in that I have a group that (moreso than a lot of other grades) knows how to work and values knowing things.

The past couple weeks have generally been good. I’m starting to finally feel like I belong there. After school detentions are working like a charm, as I give out one detention and then the class is perfect– it’s unfortunate for the first person, but hey, what can ya do? I’ve also been finding my niche with my students. I’ve imposed my enthusiasm for math which is pretty dorky, but my kids find it amusing. I’m constantly saying things like, ” a whole day without math isn’t good for your health” and “i know you’d be so disappointed without homework tonight”. I’m also making fun of myself more frequently, as my kids are starting to get a better sense of the boundaries that they are not supposed to cross in our conversations, which makes the jokes about myself more fun (for example, they’re getting a better sense of what types of things are okay to joke about and what types of things are off-limits)

I’ve been getting a lot better with balancing science too– I’d be lying if I said I was good at it, but it’s definitely getting better and I’m covering more of it. I think that has to do with testing being over, and feeling less pressure for math scores.

The best thing that I think is happening is that my relationship with my kids is significantly improving. My usual biting sarcasm is now commonplace in my classroom, but my kids know me well enough to know that I just use it for fun. The other day, Tammy said something along the lines of “Mr. P, I almost didn’t come to school today” to which I replied instantly, “what makes you think that I want you here?” Of course, Tammy is one of my favorites and she knows it, which makes such exchanges possible.

Ironically, the thing that is making a difference the most almost has me a little mad at myself. A common tfa thing is to shake hands with kids at the door. I never started it at the beginning of the year, but I decided to just pick it up one day. I did it right before testing under the guise of needing to get more serious in the class, and the first week or so I was greeted with the “this is so stupid, why are we doing this?” look. But now, it’s generally a pretty good thing for I’d say 80% of my kids, and I can feel a greater sense of mutual respect with my kids now. I’m mad at myself for not doing this sooner. But another good thing is that I persevered through it. As a first year teacher, I guess we’re looking for a lot of quick fixes, and when things don’t do wonders in a week, we abandon it. But this whole hand-shaking thing made me realize that things need a couple weeks, or maybe even longer, to really have an effect. I’m finally sticking to my gut instead of letting my kids opinions influence what I do in the classroom and it’s working.

The part about hitting the wall has to do with Tim and Anthony. Tim told me to shut up today, which got him sent promptly to the office, cause at that point, there is nothing for me to do except throw him out my window (which is especially tempting, being on the 3rd floor), and Anthony’s outbursts are ridiculous and so disruptive– more than anything, it’s freaking May and he still doesn’t get it. It finally hit me that both of them need serious counseling and nothing short of that is going to work for these two. They both have major male authority issues and I’m not trained in dealing with that.

On a rather humorous note with that, Tony, a 4th grader in Mr. B’s class, came up to my room during detention after-school and gave me a bag with some fries in it. And I was surprised as I wasn’t expecting a food delivery– but since Tony said it was for me, and it smelled really good, I wasn’t going to complain. So, I started eating it in front of the kids– I didn’t feel too guilty, as they were in detention, and I had skipped my lunch earlier. The funny thing about it is later, I find that Tony was supposed to ask me to give it to Tim, cause someone had actually got it for Tim. So I essentially ended up eating Tim’s food, right in front of him– again, there’s little guilt when the kid told me to shut up earlier.

And on a positive note, we had the Newark elementary track meet yesterday– and one of our 3rd grade girls ROCKED– she got to the finals, before it got rained out– anyway, they’re finishing it up next week, but I was so proud of her. And our other kids put in a good effort, too, so that was real cool.

So, all in all, things are looking up. I’m feeling like I’m being welcomed into the community now, which I never totally felt a part of before. The little conversations in the classroom are subsiding and my relationships with my kids are improving. I can’t say the learning has been perfect, looking at my last quiz, but I think it’s just a little of that post-testing lull, hopefully. All in all, life is good, and it has me more willing to move up with my kids to 8th grade.

During all of Institute, you are constantly told, “be strict, be tough– don’t take any garbage”. So EVERY corps member invests A LOT of time to ensure a very strict set of rules.

Well, it turns out what I thought was very strict wasn’t strict enough. I’ve called in parents to the school probably over 80 times, I’ve called home at least 100 times, and when you add up every kid’s lunch detentions I’m certain it’s over 300 for the year. I’ve had personalized conferences with at least 5 kids, and I’ve been a huge factor in 2 kids transferring out, and one or two others may be on the way. Keep in mind, I only have about 25 kids… in BOTH classes, combined. Regardless, it appearently wasn’t enough.

Today was discipline day, maybe partly because kids think that they’re done with school cause the test is over, or maybe it’s something else.

I’ve started a new detention policy–after-school– i like it better than my old lunch detention policy, cause after-school is easier for me, and more of an inconvenience for the kids.

Anyway, the post is about the series of events today, and the realization of what Ms. S told me, about putting my foot down with the kids and their parents. It’s difficult to feel comfortable as a first year teacher, dealing with parents, especially in such an insulated community. Although, partly touching, it’s a little intimidating when EVERYONE around knows who you are within 2 months of being there, and yet you barely can identify half your parents. Plus, we’re really not far removed from the college lifestyle, and looking up to adults as authority figures instead of being them.

But the time has come, and I think today I put my foot down more than I’ve ever done so before. Tim and Anthony, got about as much work done in 45 minutes as a kindergartener would’ve done (no exaggeration). Also, Anthony had the nerve to miss school yesterday, and then show up to basketball afterwards. Both students were also recommended to miss one game because of the fact that they failed third marking period, in addition to repeatedly having to call in parents. So, now, both are in in-school suspension indefinitely– and I’m thinking it’ll be a couple weeks. I’m so exhausted of how much energy I’ve invested in both of them, how much I’ve tried to work with them, both on math and on character, how many times I’ve tried to talk to them about how they need to take their work seriously. I’m tired of caring about people who don’t give a damn about themselves. I’m tired of spending my preps, my days off, my after-school time going over things that kids didn’t learn the first time cause they were too busy screwing around.

Secondly, there’s Nick. Now, Nick is smart enough to get into Science High– the top magnet school in Newark. There’s no question in my mind that he has the intelligence and grades for it. The problem is his attitude. He doesn’t stop singing in class, he has huge social issues, and today he told me to shut up– I would’ve lost my job over what I felt like doing to him, so I just took him to the office and them deal with it. We’re calling in his mother tomorrow, and if I hear another word out of him when he’s not supposed to be talking, he’ll spend a good amount of time in in-school suspension, and probably miss basketball, too.

Andy is probably a hybrid of the three before and has his parents coming in tomorrow, too. Then there’s David who talked back to me– parents coming in. Then there’s Amanda who walked out of detention, and Tim and Nancy who never showed up. 8 parents to see tomorrow, some of whom will come on Friday, some of whom I will personally visit at their homes.

I’m just so exhausted of the blatant disrespect and the saddest thing about it is the 8 or so kids who do EVERYTHING I ask them to, and I just wonder how much they would be learning if I didn’t have to deal with the circus everyday, cause they do pretty decently in spite of that. That’s why I LOVE the idea of charter schools. Some teachers say if all the top kids go to charter school, then what’ll be left in the public schools? I think that argument is nuts. The job of education is to give every child the best possible chance, and if a charter school can do that better than a public school, than so be it.

Some parents seem to want to transfer their kids out which really doesn’t bother me. If parents instill in their kids that leaving a situation is the best way to deal with it, I’m not exactly sure how I can counter that with the limited time I have with them each day. I’m just so frustrated with certain kids and parents, and as the 8th grade teacher Ms. H said, you need to start showing parents that you if their child causes an inconvenience for you, then you’re going to cause an inconvenience for them.